All my students know Darcy, my sidekick and partner in the classroom. This winter we both retired from teaching and, only a month into my retirement, I've been keeping busy tearing out an old bathroom and remodeling it. What my students didn't know (until they read this) was that last June Darcy was diagnosed with renal failure. Next month she'll turn 14 and this is a common problem for older dogs. This was kept hidden because of Covid at-home learning, so they only saw Darcy sleeping on the couch behind me as I taught over Zoom. The fact is that online learning turned out to have its blessings because of how much attention Darcy now needs. She was always a thin dog, but now she is anorexic and positively skeletal. I cook special diets for her and have to now hand feed her to keep her strength up. This doesn't mean that she doesn't enjoy chasing a squirrel on occasion, but she now conserves her energy by sleeping A LOT. She has her little housecoat to keep warm and often a blanket over that.
When I first learned the prognosis of having between a couple of months to a year to live, I cried for weeks. I couldn't even talk about it without starting to tear up. And, even as I write this, a few dribbles emerge from the corners of my eyes. But we've settled into a new routine, and things seem stable. Every now and then I see a little sign that gives me a scare - like another few ounces lost - and then a sign of hope when she gains it back. Today was another, different moment for Darcy.
When I first learned the prognosis of having between a couple of months to a year to live, I cried for weeks. I couldn't even talk about it without starting to tear up. And, even as I write this, a few dribbles emerge from the corners of my eyes. But we've settled into a new routine, and things seem stable. Every now and then I see a little sign that gives me a scare - like another few ounces lost - and then a sign of hope when she gains it back. Today was another, different moment for Darcy.
I wood heat my house 24/7, so I have to dump the ash pan out in the vegetable garden every few days. The snow is thick, even though the path from the house is well trodden. Today, Darcy decided to join me as we trudged out into the snow. The temps are above zero - downright comfortable in the brilliant sunshine! When I came back to the house, there was something about the way Darcy was hesitating to come back in that brought back lots of memories. In February as the sun climbs higher in the sky and the cardinals start singing, Darcy used to lie out in the snow for hours as she kept watch for the emerging Spring. The first time she did it, she laid on the cold driveway in the sun - up against the snow bank! Remember, she's always been a skinny dog. But, being an indulgent mom, I would give in and put a bed out on a tarp |
But, today, as I opened the door back into the warm house, she stood outside shivering despite wearing two coats. I could tell that she wanted to stay outside. The sun on the snow is breathtaking, especially in the morning and late afternoon as the shadows cast by the trees are so stark and the snow so glittery (adamantine to my Geology students!). Anyway, she opted for warmth, but I could tell she was longing for the old days. So, as she finds a sunny spot by the window to soak in that beautiful sun, I'll begin re-tiling the shower.